I am 30 ! ? !

So I am 30 and I am actually feeling pretty good about it. I remember thinking that 30 was such a big deal and while I still think it is, for different reasons that before. I am in such a good place with everything. I am very happy with my family, my jobs, my spirituality, just my life in general. It's been a crazy ride getting here, but I am excited to be 30.

Enough talk! So for my birthday I was spoiled rotten, as per usual by my hubby. The weekend before my birthday, he surprised my by flying my besties into town and sending us to the Taylor Swift concert. I mean.....

 On my actual birthday he watched the baby while I got a massage and a mani pedi. Then we all went to the beach. That night we went out to a fancy shmancy steak dinner, which was outrageously delicious, especially the mac & cheese.

 I am 30 ! ? !

San Francisco Weekend

It seems like a billion years ago, but we took a little family vacay to the bay area. Since it was Mason's first time in SF, we hit the classic tourist spots. 

This kid did really well with a crazy schedule. He loved the hotel life!

 We went to family kite day at the Presidio and it was so fun. The park was beautiful and we ate empanadas and enjoyed the gorgeous weather.

 Phoenix was such a help getting our kite put together. Hee hee.

 We got to catch up with my friend Ashley and then she drove us all around the city to show us the sites.

 The ladies at the cupcake shop flipped over Phx's binky and thought is was so cute, she gave us a free snickerdoodle. And if you have ever tasted a snickerdoodle from Susie Cakes you know what a score that is. Seriously so delicious!

 I love this photo because it seriously sums up our family perfectly. Phoenix's eyes are locked on the camera, Mason is totally distracted by the awesome sunset, and I am taking care of my little Phoenix making sure he is all bundled up.

The other reason for the trip for was for Phx to meet both of his great grandmas.

 On our way home, we split the trip halfway and spent the night at the Baker House B&B. It was out in the middle of nowhere, so we were a little nervous, but it was seriously so cute! Huge wrap around porch with a swing and everything. So perfect.

The Paths We Choose

I chose to be a mother. I love being a mother. But lately I have been very overwhelmed by this choice.

Motherhood has been the best, most amazing experience and I am only 6 months in, but I  find that at times I am too hard on myself about doing it all. It is hard to let go of things that I used to be able to handle. Things like a making dinner every night, having a clean house, an empty sink, laundry hampers that aren't overflowing, and an even halfway organized office seem to be harder and harder to achieve. 

To finish a day when the kitchen is a disaster, the fridge is completely empty and the office is piled high with papers it does not always seem like enough that my baby is alive and happy and loved. But I am slowly learning to let that be enough. In the moments when I let that be enough, I am much happier and overall a more patient and a better mother. 

When I stop to think about it and talk through it, it becomes much less overwhelming. I can focus on my baby and there are people that I can ask for help with everything else. First off, we have been able to hire help for me in the office (the best decision ever), we have a cleaning crew who we hired to help with the house, and most importantly I have wonderful friends and family who will bring me dinner and pick up my prescriptions when I can't get out of the house and make me feel normal when I want to cry and make me laugh when I feel like I'm about to pull my hair out.

Now since I haven't posted in forever I will just dump all the recent photos of my baby on you. I literally kiss him and tell him I love him a million times a day.  

My sweet Phoenix is 6 months old he is almost 18 lbs. He can sit up, has two teeth and he talks all day long, I mean alllll day long. He LOVES to eat. He'll chow down on sweet potatoes, avocado, pears, pretty much everything he tried!